3 Things I Let Go Of So I Could Show More Respect To My Husband

Men crave respect like we women crave love. When we have big pain in our marriages, sometimes the love and respect fall by the wayside. But they are pivotol to deep intimacy and connection, so focusing on them is key to a healthy marriage.

These are 3 things I have been working to let go of so I could show more respect to my husband. And they've been huge for our marriage growth.

1. Controlling him

It's very easy to go to control in marriage versus yielding to his leadership. If it depends on me because I'm in control, I know I'll be safe. If I'm leaning into him, that could feel scary. But if I stay in control over surrender, he doesn't get to step up. He doesn't get to lead as he was designed to do. I've noticed when I lean into him, show him I trust him and release control, he feels respected and steps strongly into his masculine frame. Win-win for both of us!

2. Being his accountability partner

It’s been very easy for me to see that my husband is a person who needs accountability and think I need to provide that. “Did you do what you said you were going to do? Did you take care of xyz?” But I’ve noticed that when I step into that role it can lead to me feeling overwhelmed trying to remember and keep tabs on all the things. It also can lead to him feeling emasculated and not challenging himself to problem solve in his own way.

3. Rescuing him

As a wife and mom, sometimes we stay in mom role when what our husband needs is wife role. We have such a heart for protecting our kids and it can be so tempting to try to rescue our husbands when we see he’s about to fail. But if I rescue him, I also take away valuable lessons learned in failing and take part of the ownership of success from him too. Letting him succeed and fail on his own, while sharing my belief and encouragement in him is powerful in helping him feel respected.

Now I wish I could say I do these things perfectly all the time. But I absolutely don’t. I’m growing in these areas and probably always will be. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Do you struggle with any of these? How do you show respect for your husband?